Settle yourselves down and listen up, you might actually learn something for a change. Yesterday, while the rest of the world looked the other way, those of us who give the Potato the respect it deserves celebrated Maris Piper's birthday.
Originally born in 1822, archives from the time describe Maris as pleasant, floury and great for roasting. Maris spent his formative years wattling daub at Wetwang, Yorkshire. In 1856, he accidentally invented the Potato after an attempted copulation between himself, a parsnip and a swede was interrupted by a lightning strike. The smell of what we'd now refer to as "chips cooking" drew people from far and wide. Once Maris had regained consciousness and put some clothes on, both himself and his smoldering tuber became global superstars (see below).
Originally born in 1822, archives from the time describe Maris as pleasant, floury and great for roasting. Maris spent his formative years wattling daub at Wetwang, Yorkshire. In 1856, he accidentally invented the Potato after an attempted copulation between himself, a parsnip and a swede was interrupted by a lightning strike. The smell of what we'd now refer to as "chips cooking" drew people from far and wide. Once Maris had regained consciousness and put some clothes on, both himself and his smoldering tuber became global superstars (see below).
