Me, myself and Potato

I've always said that when the chips are down, reach for the Potato and things will surely get better; hence I now find myself on my fourth plate of sautéed Wilja. What with all the excitement of National Potato Day, swiftly followed by Maris Piper's birthday and my new Potato peeler arriving (quickly and well packaged, with good communications) from Ebay, I failed to notice my wife leaving.

She also took with her:

The deep fat fryer

My autographed copy of 'Fanny Cradock Gets Wedgied - Modern Ideas For Potato'

Nadine, our Potato loving dachshund, who I hand-reared from a Potato loving puppy using only Potato

Our 1993 Volvo 940 estate

My life-sized cardboard cutout of 'Ponch' from 70's lightweight action crime drama 'CHiPs'

Our three children, all of whom left the house without their Potato themed duffle coats and matching hats

I'm now relishing the challenge of living life as a Potato-fuelled lone wolf, happily getting by without the luxury of a loving family, faithful pets, cheery cardboard best buddies, safe and reliable transportation or inspirational Fanny.